DIVORCE PROCESS…Understanding the Timeline Step by Step From Beginning to End • 10 QUESTIONS TO ASK AN ATTORNEY • The Do’s and Don’ts of Divorce
Here's an example of the general timeline for the step-by-step process of getting a divorce, from beginning to end.
Please be mindful that the specific steps and timelines listed below will vary by state, jurisdiction and individual circumstances including if you are self-filing (pro-se), using a mediator, or attorney and going to court.
Step 1: Decide to Divorce
Timeframe: Varies
Description: One or both spouses decide to end the marriage. This decision may be reached mutually or by one party.
Step 2: Prepare and File the Divorce Petition
Timeframe: 1-2 weeks
Description: The spouse seeking the divorce (the petitioner) prepares a petition for divorce, which includes information about the marriage, children, property, and grounds for divorce. The petition is then filed with the appropriate (state) court. In most states it may be called family court.
Step 3: Serve the Divorce Papers
Timeframe: 1-4 weeks
Description: The petitioner must legally serve the divorce papers to the other spouse (the respondent). Service can be done via personal delivery, mail, or through a process server.
Step 4: Respond to the Divorce Petition
Timeframe: 1-3 weeks
Description: The respondent has a specified period (usually 30 days) to respond to the petition, either agreeing to the terms or contesting them.
Uncontested divorce means you and your soon-to-be ex spouse agree to ALL terms or not trying to prevent the divorce from happening.
Hello Divorce has info on response deadlines by state, residency requirements, waiting period, and property distribution type
Step 5: Temporary or Emergency Orders (if needed)
Timeframe: 1-2 months
Description: Either spouse can request temporary court orders for ironing out issues or addressing concerns like child custody, financial support, and property use while the divorce is pending.
A hearing may be required.
Step 6: Discovery Process
Timeframe: 2-6 months
Description: IF filing an uncontested divorce you may be able to skip this step. (Uncontested - SKIP to the last sentence of this step)
Your mediator, attorney, or other professional may give you a form to fill out to compile all financial information for a financial affidavit aka (also known as) financial disclosure, financial statement, financial declaration, case information statement, annual income worksheet, sworn financial statement or statement of net worth, etc... Depending on your state the form maybe called something different. For the sake of this information we will call it a financial affidavit.
A Financial Affidavit is a financial document that must accurately display ALL your financials related to your:
income
monthly expenses
assets, debts
business(es) (if applicable)
health insurance
children (dependents) if applicable
and any other relevant information
Your attorney (if applicable) may help you fill out the form if you have questions.
If caught lying about your financials you may risk penalties in the form of fines or jail time.
Keep in mind it is YOUR responsibility to fill out your form accurately. Your attorney if applicable may only glance for noticeable or major errors. Take your time and no guesstimates (yes that is a real word lol). If you do find yourself in need of help you can seek the assistance of a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) who can really break down your financials and help you understand the financial impacts of divorce and financial planning after divorce.
If looking to a CDFA for assistance it is recommended to get connected BEFORE you start your divorce or at the beginning of the process. Attorney’s may also seek the expertise of CDFAs on their client’s behalf during the process.
Also to note, the financial affidavit must be notarized and will be filed with the court.
The affidavit is vital in determining child support and alimony (spousal maintenance) or even legal fees. It also must be provided before your divorce is finalized.
Each state has it owns rules and guidelines for divorce in addition to the affidavit so be sure to check your state court regarding the process and all required forms.
DIVORCED MOMS has a list of state laws for individual states. You may have to sift through the pages to find your state.
Be sure to check your state court for any updated information on state laws regarding divorce.
Also check with your state court for the required specific time frame for sharing your financial affidavit with your spouse. It could be a minimum 5 days, within 30 days, 45 days, etc…before going to court (if applicable).
Both parties may also exchange financials and documents for creating a marital balance sheet for an easier read with combining and comparing individual financials on the same sheet.
This process may also involve depositions, interrogatories, and subpoenas if necessary.
THE BALANCE has more information on understanding a financial affidavit and required documents.
Below are 2 different examples from different states of a required financial disclosure.
The court may waive the financial affidavit for both sides if in agreement on the terms in an uncontested divorce.
Step 7: Negotiation and Settlement
Timeframe: 2-6 months
Description: The spouses (and their attorneys, if applicable) negotiate to reach a settlement on issues like property division, child custody, and financial support. Mediation may be used to facilitate this process.
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO AGREE TO THE TERMS on mediation day or during negotiations! I repeat…you do not have to agree!
Some soon to be ex spouses will use intimidation or other tactics to force their soon to be ex spouse into agreeing prematurely on terms they do not necessarily agree with out of fear in general or fear of getting “nothing.”
If you do not fully understand what has been placed in front of you or offered, DON’T AGREE.
You can request more time to think on things.
Have your attorney clarify the terms or seek professional outside counsel such as a CDFA if needed.
Remember this is a step not to be rushed. It is a step to ponder on as the wrong decision can have lingering consequences that may affect you and your children (if applicable) in a not so distant future.
Step 8: Court Hearings and Trial (if needed)
Timeframe: 6-12 months
Description: If the spouses cannot reach an agreement, the case goes to trial. Each side presents evidence and arguments, and the judge makes decisions on the contested issues.
Step 9: Finalize the Divorce
Timeframe: 1-4 weeks after settlement or trial
Description: Once all issues are resolved, either by settlement or court decision, the final divorce decree is prepared, signed by the judge, and filed with the court.
A divorce decree is your proof of the end or dissolving of your marriage. It is the legal and official judgement or document noting your divorce process has been completed.
***VERY IMPORTANT: You must be content with your choices or decisions as it pertains to the marital agreement/settlement prior to the court judgement/decree being issued because you may not be able to make changes after.
Step 10: Post-Divorce Matters
Timeframe: Ongoing
Description: After the divorce is finalized, there may be ongoing matters such as enforcement of the court orders, modifications due to changes in circumstances, or addressing any remaining financial or custodial issues.
Although mentioned previously in Step 9 you may not be able to make changes, there may be a few instances where changes or modification(s) can be made.
TUMO LAW & DIVORCEMAG.COM have more information on defining modification(s).
Estimated Total Timeframe
Overall: 6 months to 2 years+, depending on the complexity of the case, if you have children, and the level of agreement between the parties.
REMEMBER, the exact process and timeline can vary significantly based on local laws, the complexity of the issues involved, and the level of cooperation between the parties. Consulting with a family law attorney in your jurisdiction can provide more specific guidance.
Disclaimer: This example is for informational and educational purposes only.
10 QUESTIONS TO ASK AN ATTORNEY
Below are questions that can help you gain comprehensive understanding of the divorce process and help you make informed decisions.:
1. What are the grounds for divorce in my state? Am I in a No-Fault state?
- Helps you to understand the legal reasons required to file for divorce in your jurisdiction.
- No-Fault divorce: by definition means that a spouse can seek or petition for divorce for ANY reason even if abuse or infidelity is involved. There is no requirement to have proof of ANY wrongdoing.
FORBES has more info on defining the difference between No-Fault and Fault divorce
FORBES also has information on DIVORCE WITH KIDS which can be a longer process due to matters of contention or concerns over custody and child support
2. What is the divorce process like from start to finish?
- Helps you gain a clear picture of the steps involved, including filing, serving papers, response times, and court appearances (if applicable).
3. How is property divided in a divorce for my state?
- Helps in learning about the state's laws on property division, including marital vs. separate property.
- Community Property vs. Equitable Distribution
4. What factors determine child custody and visitation?
- Helps you to understand how custody decisions are made and what factors influence visitation rights.
5. How is child support calculated and enforced?
- Helps you get information on how child support amounts are determined and the methods used to enforce payment.
B. A second question to ask is what is the process to start/begin child support payments? If temporary support was not started during the divorce process, ask how long after the divorce settlement or decree can you submit for payments.
- Helps you learn the step by step process for getting your child support payments going as quickly as possible.
6. How is alimony (spousal support or spousal maintenance) decided?
- Helps you to learn about eligibility, how amounts are determined, and the duration of spousal support.
7. What are my rights and obligations regarding debts incurred during the marriage?
- Helps you understand how marital debts are handled in a divorce.
8. How long will the divorce process take?
- Helps you get an estimate of the timeline based on the specifics of your case and the court's schedule.
9. What should I do to protect myself financially during the divorce process?
- Helps you seek advice on managing joint accounts, credit, and assets while the divorce is pending.
10. What are the costs associated with getting a divorce?
- Helps you learn about their attorney fees, court costs, and any other potential expenses.
BONUS QUESTION: Another thing to ask an attorney is what if anything are their expectations of you?
DIVORCED MOMS also has a list of 10 questions to ask an attorney before hiring
By being as prepared as possible we hope you feel empowered in yourself and in your decision making.
YOU are a big part of your own process and success. Don’t forget to advocate for yourself!
Ask any and all questions! If you don’t ask you won’t know!
ScootAble’s Guide On The Do’s and Don’ts of Navigating Divorce
Do’s of Divorce
1. Do Seek Legal Advice Early:
- Consult an attorney as soon as you consider divorce to understand your rights and obligations.
2. Do Keep Communication Civil:
- Maintain respectful communication with your spouse, especially if children are involved.
3. Do Protect Your Finances:
- Close or separate joint accounts, monitor your credit report, and keep detailed records of all financial transactions.
4. Do Focus on the Well-being of Your Children:
- Prioritize the emotional and physical needs of your children, keeping them out of disputes.
5. Do Follow Court Orders:
- Adhere strictly to any temporary or permanent court orders regarding custody, support, and property.
6. Do Gather and Organize Financial Documents:
- Compile records of income, expenses, assets, and debts. These will be essential in the division of property and determination of support.
7. Do Consider Mediation or Collaborative Divorce:
- Explore less adversarial alternatives to litigation, which can be quicker, less expensive, and less stressful.
8. Do Take Care of Yourself:
- Divorce is emotionally taxing. Seek support from those you trust: family, friends, or a therapist.
9. Do Plan for Your Future:
- Start thinking about your post-divorce life, including housing, employment, and budgeting.
10. Do Be Honest with Your Attorney:
- Provide complete and accurate information to your attorney to ensure the best possible representation of your current state of affairs.
Don’ts of Divorce
1. Don’t Make Impulsive Decisions:
- Avoid making hasty decisions out of anger or frustration. Think through the long-term consequences.
2. Don’t Hide Assets:
- Attempting to conceal assets can lead to serious legal repercussions and damage your credibility in court.
3. Don’t Use Your Children as Leverage:
- Never manipulate or involve your children in disputes with your spouse.
4. Don’t Ignore Court Orders:
- Disregarding court orders can result in legal penalties, including fines or jail time
5. Don’t Badmouth Your Spouse:
- Refrain from speaking negatively about your spouse, especially in front of your children or on social media
6. Don’t Move Out Without a Plan:
- Leaving the marital home can have legal and financial implications. Discuss with your attorney before making any moves.
7. Don’t Post About Your Divorce on Social Media:
- Anything you post online can be used against you in court. Be cautious about what you share.
8. Don’t Rush Into a New Relationship:
- Jumping into a new relationship during divorce can complicate the process and affect legal proceedings
9. Don’t Refuse to Compromise:
- Being inflexible can prolong the divorce and increase costs. Be open to negotiation where possible.
10. Don’t Neglect Your Mental Health:
- Divorce can be emotionally draining. Seek professional help or confide in trusted loved ones or friends if you're struggling to cope.
Following these guidelines may help you navigate the divorce process more smoothly and reduce unnecessary complications.
